U R Enough (even when it doesn’t appear so)

She pauses to inhale.  “Where are my days going?  I am just trying to be a good wife and mom … and you are out speaking and writing books, and I don’t know how you do it, and I know it’s all a season, and what’s it going to be like when this next little one comes?  How our lives will change ….”  Deep breath, sigh.  Mommy tiredness and mommy hope all in an exhale.

And then I see the other her, the one whose blog I read, whose voice inspires, whose message is resounding through the whole wide world.  And I’m struck that my voice seems so … small.  I glimpse yet another woman’s speaking calendar, arena lights upon her, traveling the world saving a heart at a time, and I am so stilled at this moment that I’m actually grateful for her.

I’m thrilled I didn’t miss my son’s football season this year.  To watch him and my husband (the Cowboy and the Coach) on their own Field of Dreams has been all this heart needed. I’m at home with my munchkins making pumpkin bread, harvest soup, memories.  Blessed to not be on the road, on a plane, in another city ministering, when there is so much ministering to be done in my own backyard, kitchen, and upstairs rooms.

raising boys

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When I journal here, I want to put a face to all the longing:  the longing for Enough.  The house to be clean enough.  There to be love enough.  Our bodies to be good enough, in all their dimples, bumps and tucks.  For us to look around and look inside and say, God, U R Enough, and in the mirror of Him we see crystal clear, so are we.  Enough, that is.  In all our “less thans,” in all our longings, in all the laundry and linens and meetings and the search for More.

He says we are “More than Conquerors.” That neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any power in all Creation can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ.  Nothing can separate us from His love for us!  Nothing! Not past failures or post likes or popularity contests.  Nothing in all Creation can separate us from His love. Therefore, we are More. More than Conquerors.  (Romans 8:37-39)

I am in the shower one morning and the voice of The Lord is clear, hot water pouring over achy body.  “I am Enough for you, Jen.”

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Family

These times with him, candle burning, coffee steaming, on the porch, view broadening: Enough.  He is a still small voice breaking through a myriad of voices that compare. and comparisons only tell me my work in not enough.  I am not enough.  I should do more.  I should be like her: More. (and we know Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”)

So in the Less of my life right now, in the Less rush, the Less deadlines, the Less traveling, and the Less worry, I am finding so much More.  More women in my own community whose rich voices are a tune in my ear.  More ways to give to those who live near and more time for those I love.  I am finding more stillness in Less activity, and More joy in loving the One girl who’s mine (four steps down the hall, one left).  Loving her soul in all its stretches and shapes fills hours, weekends, a whole calendar …. I’m booked.

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So wherever you are, at the top of your game, at the end of your valley, at the ridge of your life, or just the start of a journey … in the thick of it, in the Less of it, in the thinness, in the complexity or in the simplicity, right here, right now:  God is Enough for you.  

Once you see that clearly, look into His mirror:  U R Enough too.

U R More than a conqueror.

From the Porch,

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2 Response to “U R Enough (even when it doesn’t appear so)

  1. How I love this Jen! 😊 You have no idea…
    This is the same message our Father has been speaking to me; that no matter what things look like from the outside – He is in control of it all and that He wants me to know and grow in the knowledge that yes, HE is enough. I’ve heard the same whispers as i’ve cried myself to sleep at night, mourning the life partner, the babies, the ministry dreams that even in my late 30s, seem not to want to come…and i’ve wrestled back and forth with my unbelief.

    Then just yesterday morning, out through the Spirit came an outpouring of words, lyrics to a heartsong that i knew my Father was calling me to sing. Words that I knew commanded me to believe even though He knew my heart was not fully there yet but they were full of intention. A Holy declaration.

    So in obedience I sat and worked out the melody. We found the guitar chords and yesterday evening led it for the first time in my communities evening worship. Everyone joined in; some quietly wept. And the title of that song? ‘You Are Enough For Me’.

    Then this morning – delight of delights your journal in my email! Coincidence? I think not. In the words of another great song: Oh how he loves!

    Thank you for sharing your ‘enough’ and letting me know that i am not alone in this journey of leaning-in to the All-Sufficient Father of us all…

    1. Wow, Anna Marie!! Yes, He is Enough. And He sees your tears and hears your cries and He will heal you (2 Kings 20:5). You are so loved, Anna. Thank you so much for your vulnerability in sharing this. He will use it to continue to encourage others. We are never alone. Love you sister, Jen 🙂

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